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I am approached often about whether or not I am the right fit for your child. There are times where my skill set is not what is needed & as a result, I can recommend another professional.
On the other hand, I thought it might be helpful for parents (& educators) to read more in depth about a student profile that I see often in my office. This is the type of work that I love & what many might call "the ideal client". Let me know if you can relate to this example.
I would like to introduce you to my client ***Matthew*** & his parents.
Matthew is a grade 7 male student in one of our public schools and he’s 12 years old.
He has many strengths - here are some of them:
Curiosity: Matt is naturally curious and has a strong desire to explore topics of interest, especially when it involves hands-on activities, anything that involves problem solving or anything creative.
Creativity: He has a vivid imagination and enjoys creative tasks such as drawing, building things, or coming up with stories. He is also very musical.
Verbal Communication: Matthew enjoys talking - especially with adults - and can articulate his thoughts well. He excels in one-on-one conversations where he feels supported.
Passion for Technology: He has an affinity for video games and technology, where he is proficient & highly interested.
He has some challenges too - here are some of them:
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD):
Difficulty Staying Focused: Matt often struggles to focus during lessons, especially those that require extended periods of concentration. He is easily distracted by his surroundings and frequently fidgets or daydreams.
Impulsivity: He tends to act before thinking, often speaking out of turn or making quick decisions without considering consequences.
Hyperactivity: Matthew sometimes has trouble sitting still during class, tapping his feet or getting up frequently, which can disrupt both his own work and that of others.
Inflexible with thinking & routines: Matt sometimes becomes fixated on a task or an activity. He has lots of trouble if the regular routine changes.
Autism: There has been mention in the past about whether or not Matt has profile tendencies for an autism diagnosis. Nothing concrete has been determined.
Zero or Low Resilience:
Frustration with Challenges: When faced with difficult or tedious tasks, Matt can become easily frustrated and may give up quickly. He tends to avoid tasks that seem hard or beyond his current abilities.
Emotional Outbursts: When things don’t go his way or if he makes a mistake, Matthew might react with anger, tears, or withdrawal. His emotions often feel overwhelming to him.
Low Self-Esteem: Matt sometimes believes that he's not capable of succeeding academically or socially, which makes him reluctant to try new things or take risks.
Poor Executive Functioning:
Disorganization: Matt struggles with organizing his materials, remembering assignments, and keeping track of deadlines. His desk, backpack, and folders are often messy, and he frequently loses important items like homework or permission slips.
Poor Time Management: He has difficulty estimating how long tasks will take and often procrastinates, leading to rushed or incomplete work. He may also struggle to transition between tasks effectively.
Difficulty Planning and Prioritizing: Matt has trouble breaking down long-term assignments into smaller, manageable steps and often feels overwhelmed when starting a project.
Here are some areas that I am really curious about for Matthew. These areas are high on the list for his support needs:
Structured Environment: Matthew thrives with clear routines and a predictable schedule. He benefits from step-by-step instructions and visual supports, such as checklists to help him stay on task.
Awareness Building: Matt does not always realize how he impacts other people around him. He does not yet know how to assess his own actions or behaviors.
Frequent Breaks: To help manage his ADHD symptoms, Matt needs short, frequent breaks to release energy and refocus. Movement breaks or standing up may help during class.
Emotional Regulation Support: He needs help developing coping strategies for dealing with frustration and setbacks, such as mindfulness techniques or the use of a quiet space when overwhelmed.
Explicit Teaching of Executive Skills: Matt will benefit from direct instruction on how to manage transitions, manage time, organize his materials, and break down large tasks into smaller steps. This could include using planners, color-coded folders, and regular check-ins with teachers or support staff.
Positive Modeling & Reinforcement: Positive feedback can boost Matt’s self-esteem and motivation. Showing excitement for completing tasks or showing resilience in difficult situations could be a helpful motivator.
A little blurb about his personality - because he’s very endearing:
Pleasant, Easy Going, Friendly but Insecure: Matt enjoys some sports, social interactions and can be quite talkative and friendly, but his impulsivity and frustration sets him back. This can make him sensitive to criticism and prone to withdrawing, or blaming when he feels discouraged.
Wants to Please: He often wants to do well and make his teachers, parents and peers proud, but his difficulties can sometimes make him feel like he’s falling short, further reducing his confidence. Sometimes, he makes excuses about how it’s everyone else’s fault - not his.
To Summarize:
This learning profile can serve as a useful guide & benchmark for parents who are trying to figure out how to best help their kid. I’m hoping that by sharing Matthew’s story in this format, that I can bring you hope and peace of mind that things can improve. It’s well within reach.
With the right interventions & with the right professional, Matthew can develop the resilience, focus, and organization skills necessary to thrive academically and socially. For most of my clients, these deficits can change for the better in as little as 3 to 4 months - when we meet consistently.
During our weekly meetings, we work specifically & explicitly in the areas which are causing the greatest struggle. Most often, it’s not the areas that parents think that need to have priority intervention.
It’s not uncommon for parents to want to “fix” everything all at once with this type of learner. This is a mistake. The better approach is to choose 2 big areas to work on first. This is where we start & only then, we consider what else to address. My expertise & experience lies in helping you to determine where to begin & then building and implementing this plan for your family.
This type of work can have a huge impact for kids with this type of learning profile. The common mistake that parents & teachers make is that we assume the child has the ability to use these skills. 95% do not - hence the need for direct coaching, teaching & practice.
(***Matthew is a fictional name that I used to protect the privacy of my client.)
Let me know if there is a little bit of Matthew in your child & how I can help your family through this tough time. It doesn’t have to be so hard.
PS - In case you didn’t know, my book is now finished and is available on amazon.ca. It’s all about these learning challenges. Here’s your intro to The Good Stuff - What Great Parents Do Differently to Support Their School Age Kids.
Warmly,
Jen
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